


how to love han jisung

by taeminki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: -- lee minho knew it better than anyone else.





	how to love han jisung

**Author's Note:**

> **warnings**  
>  \- jeongin is kind of an ***  
> \- mentions of harassment

lee minho knew better than anyone else: he was an idiot for letting han jisung go.

chan didn’t have to tell him anymore. felix didn’t have to push him around for it anymore. hyunjin didn’t have to call him an idiot anymore. changbin didn’t have to look at him like that anymore.

 _he still loves you_ , but minho didn’t deserve him.  
_just **take him back**_ , but minho didn’t deserve that.  
_punishing yourself is punishing him, too_ , but only for a while, because he’ll move on, and he’ll find someone who deserves him.  
_minho, he’s not a **god** , just **take him back**_ , but he couldn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

“I’d like you guys to meet someone.”

chan eyed minho nervously-- same with felix, and hyunjin, and changbin. minho smiled through their worry and his hurt. he was happy. truly, he was. the boy jisung had by the hand seemed sweet. he was constantly smiling, and chan had taken to him by the end of lunch. his name was jeongin, and he was younger than jisung by nearly a year. minho didn’t like him, but that had everything to do with his own jealousy, so he faked like he fell for jeongin’s charms. no one believe him except for jisung and jeongin, but they were his target audience, so he was satisfied with his acting.

 

 

 

 

 

 _he always wanted to be with someone older_.

the thought came to him when jisung leaned over to help jeongin with his homework at lunch, saying, through half a mouthful of bread, “I did this last year!”

minho didn’t mean to think it. he’d been avoiding this-- jealousy. he wanted jisung happy and he _was_ happy. _wants and needs change, minho_ , but _he still loves you_ ; and minho ignored chan’s voice, and settled for pretending he had an upset stomach so he had an excuse to leave the lunch room.

 

 

 

 

 

 _he really likes to be touched_.

again, minho didn’t like the thought. it came to him before jeongin and jisung had even sat down. it came to him when they were walking into the lunchroom, and jisung grabbed for jeongin’s hand, but jeongin wrenched himself away. he saw the crestfallen look on jisung’s face, and his heart broke. _I’d hold your hand_ , but he didn’t deserve jisung.

when jisung sat, minho opened his arms for a hug. he envisioned exactly how jisung would react, and he was correct to assume-- jisung jumped at the chance for contact, and draped himself into minho’s arms. the hug was intimate, and maybe shared too many emotions on minho’s part, but jisung’s boyfriend was paying no attention, and anyone else in the world already knew minho’s heart for jisung inside and out, so he didn’t worry.

 _I’ll always be here for this-- for doing with you what your boyfriends won’t. I’ll make it up to you like this. I’ll try to deserve you like this_. minho said this through a small dip of his hand to jisung’s lower back, and a hook of his chin over jisung’s shoulder-- the bat of his relaxed eyelashes-- the slack of his content shoulders. if jisung read his message, he didn’t say anything. (minho didn’t need him to.)

 

 

 

 

 

 _he likes attention. he likes to be listened to. ask him how his day was_.

jeongin wouldn’t listen to minho unless he said it out loud, but that wasn’t his place. he almost did-- _almost_ , because jisung was silently picking at his food while jeongin fully engaged himself in a conversation with hyunjin and chan. _touch him at least_ , minho thought. _hold his hand or his waist-- let him know he’s still on your mind. he loves that_.

minho reached over and tapped jisung’s wrist. jisung looked up, and smiled. minho leaned close, as if he had a secret, and asked, “how’s your day been?”

jisung’s stories and anecdotes were freely given ten minutes of minho’s time-- asked for more and more and minho fed it all to them. minho listened to him talk about his grades and his classmates, his teachers and his plans for later. at the end, he asked, “how was your day?”

minho thought about sitting right here, right now, with jisung-- “perfect.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

_please love han jisung right._

_he loves physical contact. he really pines for it, especially on bad days. he likes attention, and he loves to talk. he loves to be on your mind. he loves to be protected. he loves when you invite yourself over. he loves cuddling, and he loves to hear you talk when you lay with him. tell him all about his cute habits and what they mean to you, like how adorable you think it is that he stuffs his cheeks when he eats and how sweet it is that he whines when faced with something cute. pay his habits with kisses. he hates making out, but he loves simple kisses. kiss him everywhere, anywhere. kiss his lips and his cheeks, his forehead and his shoulder, his nose and his thighs. he says he hates kisses out of nowhere but you’ll catch him blushing if you do it-- just don’t do it often, because he likes when you listen to him. never ask him to do something twice. he will be convinced, and it’s not fair to take advantage of him like that. ask him about his music. he hides it because he thinks he’s not talented. read his lyrics if he lets you. listen to him sing, and rap. dance for him. dance with him-- he loves to dance. take him to see his favorite movies and never leave him alone in a public place. please. he has anxiety and you’re the only person who could make him feel okay. he loves to wake up next to you, so never leave him, okay? he loves you. treat him right: respect his boundaries, and love him in his entirety. please. he deserves it. he deserves everything and more and I can’t break his heart again._

 

 

 

 

 

“ _jisung! jisung!_   I can’t break your heart again, jisung! _I can’t break your heart again!_ ”

a group of boys taunted jisung as he walked into the lunchroom, making kissing sounds at him. somehow, minho’s letter had circled the school. minho had a funny feeling he knew who’d done it, and it was confirmed when jisung sat himself down, skipping the trip to get himself lunch. he plopped his arms onto the table, head leaning against them. chan wondered, “where’s jeongin?” and jisung muttered, “we broke up. he got jealous of the letter.”

 _he hates when you get jealous_.

“I’m sorry,” minho muttered softly. chan looked at him. felix, hyunjin, changbin-- they all looked at him. jisung didn’t. he told minho, “I don’t care. he got overly jealous, and....”

jisung finally looked up. he was crying, but minho had known that before he looked up. he rubbed his hands over his eyes-- fists angrily killing his tears. he told minho, “he got jealous but he doesn’t do any of that with me, so... I-I got annoyed, and we broke up.”

“I’m sorry.” minho muttered guiltily. jisung shook his head. he forced a smile through messy bangs and tear tracks, “it doesn’t matter.”

\--except someone came by not seconds later and kissed the back of jisung’s head, ran away laughing. minho called in protest after him, but jisung put a hand on his wrist, “it doesn’t matter.”

it did. no one should harass jisung like that, but minho listened to him. it was all his fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 _I'm never listening to woojin again_ ; minho's nervous knuckles rapped softly on jisung’s door. he waited a few seconds for jisung to open the door. he smiled upon seeing minho, and told him to come in right away. _okay, maybe woojin was right_.

minho hadn’t seen the inside of jisung’s apartment in a good while. his roommate, seungmin, greeted minho from the couch, and mentioned, “I haven’t seen you in a while, hyung.”

“I haven’t been around in a while,” minho said, half a smile on his cheeks. seungmin smiled, too; and, sensing jisung and minho wanted to be alone, retreated to his bedroom. jisung sat down in his place, and tapped the couch, telling minho to sit, too. the cushion was cold.

“how was your day?” minho asked. jisung simply said “it was good. yours?” and that told minho something was wrong. minho wondered, “what happened?” and jisung shook his head. minho asked him again-- just one more time, and jisung sighed, and caved, “just-- some asshole forced me to kiss him today. told me _I liked it_ , so why not?”

“I’m so sorry.” minho said. jisung shrugged, “you didn’t do it.”

“but I wrote that letter.”

jisung laughed, a nod moving his head, “I had a funny feeling you did.”

minho prepared himself for the blame; he was fully prepared to carry all of it when jisung opened his mouth to dump it on him, except he didn’t. rather, he told minho, “it’s not your fault. jeongin gave it to one of his stupid friends and she circulated it. jeongin got jealous of the letter and I got pissed that he was more focused on you loving me than the fact that his friend circulated something so private that I-- I dumped him.”

minho didn’t say anything. jisung wasn’t looking at him, but then he did look, and he looked to ask, “have you felt that way this whole time?”

“I thought of something new every day. he wasn’t treating you right. but-- it wasn’t my place to write that letter. it wasn’t my place to tell anyone how to treat you. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“you were thinking of our relationship.” jisung said, smiling. “you know, hyung, wants and needs change.”

“I told myself that, too. I was an idiot. I’m sorry,” minho said. he was forgetting that jisung looked upset at everything jeongin didn’t do. he was forgetting that jeongin and jisung didn’t work out -- until jisung said, “mine haven’t changed at all.”

“really?” minho asked, his voice cracking with emotion. jisung nodded, smiled a little. he scoot closer, “I still like physical affection. I still like being protected. I still like simple kisses-- when they’re warranted. I still like when you tell me all my habits and ask about my day. I still like that you think about me, that you’re so selfless. but I hate that you never thought about yourself. I hate that I was hurting you and you never told me.”

“it wasn’t my place. you weren’t mine anymore.” minho muttered. jisung shrugged, “maybe. yeah, you’re right-- but that doesn’t make me hate it any less.”

jisung was crying, and he laughed through his tears, “our friends kept-- kept on telling me that you still loved me, that you didn’t make a move again because you felt like you didn’t deserve me, and I-- I always loved you, and I wish I would have made a move again, but I was so scared. I was afraid our relationship would never work, because after one fight, we broke up.”

“that was my fault. I--“

“no, no, it was both of us. hyung, I want-- I really miss you, and I’d love to try this again, but I need you to promise me that you’ll stop treating me like glass. I like it, I won’t lie, but know I won’t break when we fight, okay?”

“I can do that,” minho said, smiling. jisung laughed, relieved and happy, and told minho, “your turn.”

“my turn?”

“make me promise something. we both went wrong when we fought. tell me what I did wrong.”

“nothing.”

“hyung.”

“I freaked out and I broke up with you, because _I_ hurt you and _I_ thought I didn’t deserve you anymore. jisung, you’re just-- it was all me, okay? all of it. I know it takes two to fight but it also takes two to make up, and that’s where _I_ went wrong. I don’t blame you for a second.”

jisung laughed a little bit, “and you say _you_ don’t deserve _me_.”

“and you say _I’m_ selfless.”

“I do.” jisung laughed. there was something so beautiful about him in that moment-- perhaps it was the fact that he was crying and laughing at the same time, or the fact that he was rubbing his tears with a sweater paw, or the fact that he was slowly and surely becoming minho’s again or a mix of everything at once, but minho couldn’t help himself, and he leaned forward, and he kissed jisung.

jisung didn’t let him leave after a simple second. he held minho there by the front of his shirt and let a few tears roll across their lips before he pulled away. he laughed a little when minho broke away, told him, “you were right. I do secretly love kisses out of nowhere.”

“but if you tell me you hate them I won’t do it as often,” minho said. jisung nodded, “good. because I’m going to continuously pretend I hate when you make me flustered, too.”

“I forgot to write that down.”

“good-- else people would come by trying to make me blush, and I can’t even imagine what they’d try to do.”

“I’m going to have to take care of that, huh?” minho asked, rubbing a hand through jisung’s hair. their noses were touching, and jisung tilted his head back, following the touch. their lips brushed. minho kissed him. jisung spoke, breaking the kiss after a second, leaving it simple, “felix punched the guy who kissed me today.”

“atta boy.”

jisung laughed. he kissed minho again, sweet and simple. his kisses drove minho crazy, and minho thought to mention, “I love when you grab my shirt when we kiss,” and jisung said “I’ll have to do it all the time, then,” and minho sighed happily, “I love you so much.”

“I’d say I love you more but I think we might fight again if I do.”

(minho didn’t even deny that.)


End file.
